EXCLUSIVE BREAKING NEWS: Pastel Panty Owner Identified, Arrested

Camilla Featherstone, 23, identified as owner of panties (GSP Photo/NYPD)

New York NY (GSP). Police have announced today in an exclusive press conference that the suspected owner of the filthy panties found in Dr. Amar Pastel's hotel room has been apprehended, arrested, incarcerated and confessed to ownership.

Ms. Featherstone, 23, said she is indeed the slippery owner of the filthy panties and that she and Dr. Pastel had sex for the first time that fateful and untoward night at the Hyatt, thereby violating hotel occupancy rules. The case was tricky and difficult to crack since Featherstone exiled herself in a food court bathroom at The Jamaica Estates Galleria Mall, in order to avoid authorities. She learned about the ongoing progress of the case from newspapers left in bathroom stalls and managed to live off fallen French fries, used gum, toilet water and ice for 4 weeks. She became concerned for her own safety and that of her family’s when she saw the released photo of her kayaking from Pastel’s digital camera.

According to Featherstone, she and Pastel began their affair in early 2007, after meeting at the local Arby’s next to GSL headquarters in Akron. Pastel soon began to leave her sexy messages and offered to pay for her flights to New York for vacations. Featherstone alleges that Pastel “made an offer she couldn’t refuse” and accompanied him on the trip to the Grand Hyatt in New York. She revealed sordid details about how the panties became soiled, by the demands of Pastel, yet admitted that she had consented and rather enjoyed her night of passion with Pastel and the panties. Shortly after she made her statement, she said she has requested the panties back, since they were hers and that she was interested in sniffing them to remember Pastel and that night. Featherstone said that she and Dr. Pastel are in love.

Featherstone’s bond is set at $400,000 and legal experts anticipate her being a key witness in nailing Pastel for his violation of hotel occupancy rules.

Dr. Amar Pastel has been world-renowned for his embalming skills and is employed by funeral service and chamomile products giant GSL Enterprises. Pastel could not be reached for comment. He is expected to be arrested within days.

BREAKING NEWS: Woman Apprehended in Pastel Panty Scandal; Identity Still Unknown

World anxiously awaiting identity of wet panty owner

New York, NY (GSP). In a surprise announcement, police have apprehended the chief suspect in the media-dubbed, Pastel Panty Puzzle early this morning.

The individual, a woman described only as blond in her mid-twenties, was arrested late Sunday night and brought to the precinct for fingerprinting and questioning. Her bond was set at $50,000. Her identity is expected to be revealed sometime Monday afternoon. A detective working on the case said, "We are about 95% sure we have our girl."

The Pastel Panty Puzzle is centered on beleaguered GSL Enterprises embalmer Dr. Amar Pastel. In early March, he was suspected of violating hotel occupancy regulations for single rooms after a pair of soiled panties were found in the sheets of the bed. Police have been frantically searching for the owner of the panties. If the suspected owner is charged, it may lead to further legal troubles for Dr. Pastel. If Pastel is convicted for violation of hotel occupancy laws and possession of hazardous female undergarments, he faces up to 8 years in prison and a maximum $100,000 fine and apologies.

Dr. Pastel did not return several calls. GSL Enterprises issued a press release declaring a gag order for all employees, "in order to protect Pastel's innocence, or guiltiness." Relatedly, Dr. Pastel's mother has expressed disappointment and shame in her famous son.

Further developments will be reported as they occur by GSP.

Individual questioned in panty scandal; replica of panties released

Fort Worth, TX (GSP). A young woman was questioned today in the media-dubbed "Pastel Panty Puzzle" because of alleged ties to the embittered GSL embalmer, Dr. Amar Pastel. Her identity is not known, but a file photo released today by police is shown below despite a request to not publish the picture.

Amid controversy, GSP's decision to publish the photo is based on the reader's right to know the truth above petty police demands.

Police have stressed that this woman is not the owner of the panties, despite being extremely attractive. She is merely being questioned because it is believed she has strong leads that may point to the owner of the large, sweaty and crusty panties. Police have also released a replica of the panties (pictured above) with the comment, "imagine lots of flaky yellow stains that render the material stiff and crusty." Forensic undergarment experts have worked diligently to prepare the replica, excluding the stains and flakes. Police constable on the case is quoted, saying, "whoever owned these had to know what they were doing. They didn't just soil these panties. They enjoyed soiling these panties."

Pastel was arraigned earlier last month but charges have been dropped pending further evidence and apprehension of suspects who may have owned the panties. It is expected an announcement will be made any day now.




GSP Photo. Woman questioned in ownership of soiled panties found illegally in Dr. Pastel's hotel room.

The Readers Have Spoken: Anita Patel Most Likely to Own Wet, Dirty Panties

Akron OH (GSP). The readers have spoken! Your votes have been tallied and so far an overwhelming majority suspect Anita Patel as the owner of the soiled panties found illegally in Dr. Amar Pastel's hotel room.

The poll, sponsored by GSP, a subsidiary of GSL Enterprises, was non-scientific and conducted in accordance with HIPAA regulations, thereby ensuring a 99% accuracy rate. GSP spokeman Dr. Craigman said, "We're well pleased with the response rate (estimated at 94%) and think this will really help investigators decide who the uninformed public believes owns the wet panties."

Craigman insisted there were no limitations to the poll and results should not be interpreted cautiously. "We can all agree that nearly all readers believe the panties belong to that dishy Indian, Anita Patel. Also, it is well known that Dr. Pastel tried to stuff the ballot for Salma Hyeck, therefore any votes for her should be discounted. You want proof? It's SALMA HYECK! Everyone knows she doesn't wear panties. Proof!"

The investigation continues with mounting public pressure for authorities to make a move. An announcement is expected in the coming days. The extent to which the poll will influence the police investigation will likely be nil.