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Alleged Amar Pastel love child found in grocery bag

Akron OH (GSP). In a shocking early morning discovery, an illegitimate love child, a bastard child perhaps, allegedly fathered by Dr. Amar Pastel was found in a grocery bag from Happy Lucky Vegetable Fortune Cookie Mart, a small vegetable shop in Chinatown Akron.

A shaken and disturbed patron of the modest Chinese shop, Xinhua Lu, was handed the bag along with her purchase of lichee nuts and bok choy. She was surprised to find a little girl pop out at her when she unloaded the groceries. She blames the owner of the store, Quing Gong, of trying to ungraciously unload the burdenous result of her known love affair with embalming revolutionary Pastel.

Gong, 54, said it is impossible that she mothered a child and tried to slip it into a customer's package of bok choy. She claims, "I would have remembered something like that." She worried that the bad press would disgrace her business and further lower her vegetable sales, a growing concern in a marketplace with rising food costs. She is considered including fish to supplement her inventory, but fears she will not be able to control herself with "such dericious fish" in-house.

Pastel, 47, predictably and vehemently denied the allegations saying that his only contact with Gong was for bitter melon and the occasional hot pot recommendations. However, several eye witnesses have come forth claiming Pastel had sex with Gong on several occasions in the store freezer on top of the bags of frozen ginger, as well as on the jasmine rice sacks. A preliminary investigation found grains of rice in Pastel's soiled underpants.

Tragically, no one has yet come forth to provide information about the forgotten child.