New Menopause Hormone-Replacment Therapy Gives Promising Results After Phase II Trials for GSL Biopharmaceuticals P.L.

Princeton, NJ (GSP). GSL Biopharmaceuticals released a press release today with the results of their Phase II clinical trials for their new drug Amarerva.

Dr. Curtis Ng, Director of Drug development & Discovery, and Translational Science at GSL Pharmaceuticals, said he was encouraged by the results, especially after extremely promising preclinical, Phase I, and several dosage studies: "Our hormone-replacement Amarerva appears to be 99% well-tolerated and effective, and we've only had one adverse event out of the 100 women we've tested so far. Our new therapy may end the barbarian pig-hormone and Suzanne Somers biosynthetic hormone therapies of today."

This revolutionary drug is made of 100% compacted cellulose fibers, with a thin outer coating of soy-based dye molecules 2nm thick that are formed into a naked picture of famous mortician Amar Pastel. Dr. Ng said it seems works by "Women's ovaries are stimulated to produce more estrogen and eggs after being exposed to the image of Amar Pastel with his silky chest hair. We don't know the exact physiological mechanism, but many of the women we asked during trials said 'after seeing that beautiful man naked, I never want to stop having sex!' and their ovaries, devoid of eggs, started producing eggs and estrogen replacing and rebalancing the hormones in their bodies. Damnest thing."

Dr. Ng did express some concern about the one adverse event coded: "We are really puzzled about this woman's death. We called the doctor at the North Baltimore Clinic running this leg of the trial, and he said 'After seeing the picture, she got really excited. Then she had a massive heartattack and died.' I looked at her chart, and she also had a WTP (Wetpanties) code." How FDA will view this event is a mystery, but GSL Biopharmaceuticals remains confident that Amarerva, with appropriate labeling, will be approvable after Phase III trials set to being this August, 2007.