Attorney gets what he wishes for, decidedly dissatisfied

Washington (GSP). Attorney wunderkind Ashley Rickets once made a passing comment to a friend about Cindy McCain, the wife of Republican presidential nominee, John McCain. Rickets specifically said, "she would get it." Little did he know his friend was part of the Make a Wish Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to helping victimized visible minorities achieve justice and making every whim come true. The mandate of the foundation is to provide whatever a minority wishes, because they are worth it as "God's Greatest Creation."

While Rickets was initially impressed that he met the classy, charming 54-year-old wife of a 71 year-old presidential candidate, he was disappointed when he actually had to perform in bed and deal with her insecurities and clinginess. Rickets expressed dissatisfaction that he, as a fine young black man with two degrees from presitigious universities and an extremely large salary, has to deal with a clingy old, wrinkly white woman. However, bound by honor and the code of "slumming," Rickets decided to make the most of the situation and dealt with it as any other relationship. He yelled at her, called her names and felt big about bossing around a rich white wife-of-another-man. And, typical of such misegenation, Cindy adores him and his abuse.

Rickets, however, is currently bored of her and continues to insist on never smiling for cameras. John McCain declined comment and redirected the question to discuss petroleum futures policy, while his wife, Cindy, merely giggled and rubbed some caked-on material off of her cheek.