Pastel riding high, Caught in a stink.

Akron, OH GSP). Where were you when you read that Ellen Degeneres was gay? Or found out that Lance Bass was gay? Or heard that Gaymie Condraff was a homosexual? We all can remember these moments vividly, as they both shocked the world and warmed our hearts. The acceptance of the fundamental human desire to love "who you want to love" has become so ingrained in our 21st culture, that we remember the people who have "come out" as modern heroes.

Dr. Amar Pastel, celebrity embalmer and star of the Fox hit, Funeral Parlor Nightmares, has been riding a tidal wave of publicity lately. Although rumors have been around as to his sexual orientation since 2004, not since Ellen Degeneres has someone taken control of the public's view of his or her sexuality. Imitating Ellen in 1999, Dr. Pastel provided an interview and graced the cover of Time last month, proclaiming loud and proud, "I'm gay."

When asked about his legendary relations with Christina Alguleria and Barbara Walters, Dr. Pastel responded, coolly and with great elegance, "Larry, I'm with Chad now."

Who is Chad? Dr. Pastel informs us that he has been dating the 23 year old, New York-based blogger since 2006. Chad has frequently posted blogs implying his relations with Pastel (check out www.moonrunner-nyc.com). Until now, their relationship has been speculative, despite people witnessing the two dining together at Belimore, NY's famous Mixing Bowl.

Unfortunately, it's a law of physics that all tidal waves must eventually dissipate, that what goes up must and will come down. Hollywood snoop, Perez Hilton, reported on his website this morning that a domestic dispute last night left Pastel and Chad in a shouting match at Pastel's Akron apartment. Neighbors who overheard the dispute report that Pastel and Chad were fighting because Pastel had allegedly been with some girl. They heard Chad shouting and screaming such as "if you haven't been with a girl today, how come your arm pit smells like a menstruating pussy?" The police responded, and Pastel spent his first night in jail for 2008. His counsel, Dimejios Sola-Ogun could not be reached for comment.