Jordan Hill announces lifestyle to GSP

Georgia (GSP). An aspiring ______, Jordan Hill sat down with the editor of GSPress, Fred Rasputin, recently to discuss his life, dreams, ambitions and finances. In an enlightening interview*, Rasputin found ample topics to talk about.

Rasputin: Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule Jordan to talk to me and let our readers know what’s going on.

Jordan: It’s a pleasure to talk to you, you know what I’m sayin’? What you want to axe me first?

Rasputin: So you are just about to finish your post-baccalaureate degree and about to start a job in the hottest city in the South. What more can you tell us?

Jordan: Not much more than that, dawg! I mean, I try to keep it real. I’ll be making a lot of money though. Prolly get a condo or a full-on house. I mean, my salary is pretty big.

Rasputin: That’s great. What do you like to do for fun these days?

Jordan: I’m saying, I keep it fresh. Its hard to stay cool when all these broads are jumping on your dick. I messed with most of ‘em but I don’t date. That’s what you get for going to two prestigious schools and earn a big salary. I don’t care about them though. They ain’t shit to me. I’ma get me a fine wife and she’ll mold to my [expletive]. Only fools date. I’ve been pulling hotter chicks since I was born.

Rasputin: I understand. So how is your family doing?

Jordan: Its cool. I mean, I’m in the biggest city in the South, so you know my brother be coming around. I won’t let him stay at my condo I’m gonna buy because he sloppy. But we’ll go to the clubs and check it out. We used to go a couple times a few years ago, so he knows the best clubs to pump it up. And you know they won’t let you in without money. That’s why I’ll be making a lot of money when I get out. A lot.

Rasputin: So what about your college friends?

Jordan: I done talk to them every now and then. But I been pulling hotter chicks since I was born. I’ll call a spade a spade: they’re pretty much gay. They’ll be getting theirs when they’re 35. I’ll have mine when I’m 25.

Rasputin: As always, Jordan, its great to talk to you. Our readers really appreciate catching up with you.

Jordan: Yea, mane. Can I end with a joke?

Rasputin: Sure.

Jordan: If you ugly, you can't do nuthin' wrong! You gotta be catching flies out of the air and picking up fish outta the water with your bare hands! You already got the L - you ugly! So that's the one thing you already messed up on. Ugly people can't do nuthing' wrong!

Rasputin: *laughing very hard* Stop it! Too funny! Thanks, Jordan.

[end interview]

*Note: clapping omitted from interview transcript.