Dr. Amar Pastel to Reveal All in “Semi-Biographical Autobiography”

New London CT (GSP). Famed GSL embalmer, Amar Pastel, after a several months hiatus from the press has just announced he will be releasing his “semi-biographical autobiography” entitled, Crimes of Passion. In it, Pastel mentions that he will disclose many of his public scandals, including getting busted doing insider trading of muffin stock and revealing himself in a movie theatre, and confess some of his most heinous crimes, including taking steroids and human growth hormone. He also intimated that he will name others who have taken performance enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball. However, his claims have been scoffed as dubious given that his only access to the MLB was as a fan attending a Red Sox-Blue Jays game in Toronto in the spring of 2005.

The book is being published as a last ditch effort by Scholastic Publishing to improve their “back-to-school” fall lineup of novels aimed at young adults. Scholastic has been enthusiastic about Pastel’s ghost written book. Spokesperson Ginine Pittlieri said, “This is a book any child would love to read and I will post articles about it on my blog that has high readership because I write so good and will try not to swear so much at my husband.”

Pastel has maintained a low-profile since being identified as a fourth brother in the pop-sensation group, “Hanson” in early June. The book is expected to reach shelves September 24.