CEO Buchanan Digs New Chamomile Chewing Gum
Akron OHIO (GSP). CEO of GSL Enterprises, Alberto Buchanan, has deemed GSL's new chamomile chewing gum prototype, "Project Chamo-Chew" a delicious success.
Market research from ACNielsen has shown the chamomile gum to be more tasty and magical than Bubblicious Grape-Berry-Fruit-o-Blast and has more elasticity (or, "jaw-bounce") than the leading Bazooka Joe Bubblegum Pop. It also outperformed the flavor duration of Extra Sugar-free gum, earning it the reputation as "Going the Distance in Flavor... Lasting an Extra-Extra long time."
Furthermore, Little League baseball players have preferred it to Big League Chew and 1 out of 5 dip users prefer it to Skoal Mint Snuff. Also, smokers have said it has helped them quit more than Nicorette and cigarettes combined.
The secret ingredients include sweat from Tibetan monks, incense from traditional Chinese tea celebrations and special Indian herbs and pubic hair from the mother and sister of GSL honcho Dr. Amar Pastel.
Buchanan is more than pleased with the way the project has turned out and was chewing the scrumptious gum as he delivered the press conference. Buchanan was quoted as saying, "The gum is so [expletive] good, its enough to make Willy Wonka [cream] his candy-ass shorts."
The gum is rumored to have a light, spicy Indian tinge.
Market research from ACNielsen has shown the chamomile gum to be more tasty and magical than Bubblicious Grape-Berry-Fruit-o-Blast and has more elasticity (or, "jaw-bounce") than the leading Bazooka Joe Bubblegum Pop. It also outperformed the flavor duration of Extra Sugar-free gum, earning it the reputation as "Going the Distance in Flavor... Lasting an Extra-Extra long time."
Furthermore, Little League baseball players have preferred it to Big League Chew and 1 out of 5 dip users prefer it to Skoal Mint Snuff. Also, smokers have said it has helped them quit more than Nicorette and cigarettes combined.
The secret ingredients include sweat from Tibetan monks, incense from traditional Chinese tea celebrations and special Indian herbs and pubic hair from the mother and sister of GSL honcho Dr. Amar Pastel.
Buchanan is more than pleased with the way the project has turned out and was chewing the scrumptious gum as he delivered the press conference. Buchanan was quoted as saying, "The gum is so [expletive] good, its enough to make Willy Wonka [cream] his candy-ass shorts."
The gum is rumored to have a light, spicy Indian tinge.
posted by GSL Enterprises at
7:13 AM
1 Comments:
OK, this was amusing - but the pubic hair line was too much. There's funny, and then there is offensive.
By
Anonymous, at 2:07 PM
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