Pastel, Ashley-Ogun Refusing to Speak to Each Other

Nashville TN (GSP). In a rare instance of GSL Enterprises dissention, it was leaked this morning by an anonymous source that Dr. Amar Pastel, chief embalming consultant, and Mr. Dimejios Ashley-Ogun, Attorney General for GSL, are not on speaking terms. According to the source, the two are not returning phone calls, Pastel has sent nasty mass company emails critical of Ashley-Ogun's choice in women and Ashley-Ogun has circulated incriminating photos of Pastel in compromising positions, most of which involve the affable embalmer in revealing gym shorts.

The causes of this rift are unclear, but some have linked the animosity to Ashley-Ogun's constant criticism of Pastel's dietary habits, or to Pastel's absolute domination of Ashley-Ogun on the basketball court. What is certain is that disciplinary action will be determined by CEO Elmo Buchanan and President of Punative Affairs, Curtis Ng. Past GSL employees have been known to be fired under suspicion of espionage, or for leaking oil on the building rugs. Several former GSL employee robots have refused to discuss the grounds for their dismissal.