GSL Bank Serves New Market Segment

Lower Manhattan, NY (GSP). The Wall Street Journal today released news of the charter of the GSL Bank by the Federal Reserve Bank of Cleveland, a school-based, full-service bank serving elementary-school-aged children throughout the nation. First branches will open up in Akron (Headquarters), New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and Cleveland, and will be insured by the FDIC. The brainchild of mastermind Dr. Pastel who venerates the one and only JP Morgan and JP Morgan Jr., the bank will offer checking, savings, deposit security, and loan services to children between the ages of 4 and 7. In addition, never to offer less than full-service, GSL Bank will offer free financial advising and planning from Dr. Pastel himself, following GSL Bank's time-true wealth management model called "Take Out a Loan, Buy Ice Cream." Savings will yield an APY of 3%, and consumer loans will charge 75% APR. On a limited basis, mortgages will be granted to elementary students with good credit for the financing of playpens . Debtors must pay interest, or parents could be held liable. The kickoff bash will be held at Founders Memorial Park in Akron, Ohio. Rumors are that Dr. Pastel will dress up as a clown.