Pastel Rushed to Hospital: Critical Condition

New Waterford (GSP). Dr. Rama Pastel was rushed to the hospital this morning after a GSL board meeting. The business meeting which lasted over 5 hours, discussed the anti-trust laws and symmetrical positive action surrounding GSL, and was apparently too much for Pastel to bear. Pastel brought cookies, blondies and refreshments as he usually does to business meetings, yet still became so bored that he tried to swallow his own tongue. He succeeded, but began choking. GSL CEO Elmo Buchanan poked Pastel in the eye with his business card as a joke but upon realizing the serious nature of the injury, he rushed Pastel out on a food cart and directly to Mt. Sinai Hospital. Pastel's condition is critical and his prognosis is unknown.