Dr. Pastel: new sector penetration, stars support, controversy surrounding late Hall
AKRON, Ohio (GSP) - Dr. Pastel, despite his recent legal troubles in alleged insider trading and disruptive indictment, has not let his work suffer. Refusing to compromise his GSL Funeral Services work in light of legal distractions, he has tapped into, and cornered, a new market sector that has previously not been reached by any company, much less an individual.
In a statement released through his lawyer, Dimejios Ashley-Ogun, Dr. Pastel has apparently chosen to focus primarily upon celebrity funerals, using the deceased star's movies as inspiration for creating that last image they, or their families, wish to present to the world, in particular their peers in Hollywood. MSNBC financial analysts predict a significant impact in GSL Enterprises stock, and have extolled it as a bold, and excellent, business decision.
News of Dr. Pastel's innovative celebrity death service has spread like wildfire amongst the industry elite. Paris Hilton is quoted, "I hope when I go, Dr. Pastel can make me look thinner. After all, caskets can make you look so fat. Not to mention the nightmare of rigor mortis. You really need a good embalmer you can trust if you're going to go out in style." It is speculated that GSL has already order a specially designed casket for Hilton, likely to be pink, feathery and of similar size to a pen shaft.
Even Jared Fogle, a C-level celebrity of Subway sandwiches fame, released a statement that he wishes Dr. Pastel to be an important part of his funeral arrangements. Creatively specifying a casket designed like a submarine sandwich, a Subway sandwich artist uniform as his final outfit and a specially preserved Chipotle Chophouse Steak sub, his favorite, that he intends to clutch during his visitation. Arrangements have already been made with Curtis Nguyhen, MPH, Director in Chief of Mortuary Services and Subway to provide low-fat Subway sandwiches in a buffet style/a la carte brunch during the wake.
Conservative evangelist Pat Robertson and Focus on the Family president, Dr. James Dobson, have both decried the services of Dr. Pastel claiming that this is further exploitation of Hollywood's low-morals and low-intelligence in an effort to take advantage of the "one-upmanship" that has so characterized celebrities in the 21st century. They have called for a boycott of GSL products and services by all celebrity Christians. The ramifications of such a request are likely to be low or nil, given the high proportions of Scientologists in the celebrity community who are eagerly awaiting their own deaths in order to get Dr. Pastel's coveted care.
Dr. Pastel's business statement was released shortly after news was leaked that he was providing embalming services to the late Arsenio Hall. When revealed that Hall, a personal friend of Ashley-Ogun was directed towards GSL Funeral Services with insistence, criticism arose from Hall's family and friends directed at Ashley-Ogun, Pastel and GSL Enterprises, ranging from extortion, to nepotism, to despotism. Financial statements dating back to 2003 have shown Ashley-Ogun to be financially dependent on GSL revenue, as GSL is a significant portion of his client and business base.
Controversy has swirled over whether Hall's last wishes were indeed to have his service in Akron, Ohio at the former Scalzo's Home, instead of under a soggy log where he has resided for the past several years. Ashley-Ogun released a statement through a spokeswoman, "Arsenio was a dear, dear friend of mine. From teaching me how to effectively swear as a young lad in the wee hours of the night, to showing me how to dance: he was always there, as a best friend. Likewise, I just want the best for him, and the best is, without a doubt, Dr. Amar Pastel."
It is anticipated that Dr. Pastel will attempt to recreate one or two of the personalities that Hall portrayed in the hit film "Coming to America", possibly the elderly evangalistic preacher or the drag queen in a seedy bar.
Hall's funeral will be held this Saturday at the former Scalzo's Funeral Home in Akron, Ohio. Family has requested, in lieu of flowers, donations be made in the form of cash donations to the GSL Philanthropic Fund or bottles of HPNOTIQ to Ashley-Ogun's Urban Culture Awareness Society.
In a statement released through his lawyer, Dimejios Ashley-Ogun, Dr. Pastel has apparently chosen to focus primarily upon celebrity funerals, using the deceased star's movies as inspiration for creating that last image they, or their families, wish to present to the world, in particular their peers in Hollywood. MSNBC financial analysts predict a significant impact in GSL Enterprises stock, and have extolled it as a bold, and excellent, business decision.
News of Dr. Pastel's innovative celebrity death service has spread like wildfire amongst the industry elite. Paris Hilton is quoted, "I hope when I go, Dr. Pastel can make me look thinner. After all, caskets can make you look so fat. Not to mention the nightmare of rigor mortis. You really need a good embalmer you can trust if you're going to go out in style." It is speculated that GSL has already order a specially designed casket for Hilton, likely to be pink, feathery and of similar size to a pen shaft.
Even Jared Fogle, a C-level celebrity of Subway sandwiches fame, released a statement that he wishes Dr. Pastel to be an important part of his funeral arrangements. Creatively specifying a casket designed like a submarine sandwich, a Subway sandwich artist uniform as his final outfit and a specially preserved Chipotle Chophouse Steak sub, his favorite, that he intends to clutch during his visitation. Arrangements have already been made with Curtis Nguyhen, MPH, Director in Chief of Mortuary Services and Subway to provide low-fat Subway sandwiches in a buffet style/a la carte brunch during the wake.
Conservative evangelist Pat Robertson and Focus on the Family president, Dr. James Dobson, have both decried the services of Dr. Pastel claiming that this is further exploitation of Hollywood's low-morals and low-intelligence in an effort to take advantage of the "one-upmanship" that has so characterized celebrities in the 21st century. They have called for a boycott of GSL products and services by all celebrity Christians. The ramifications of such a request are likely to be low or nil, given the high proportions of Scientologists in the celebrity community who are eagerly awaiting their own deaths in order to get Dr. Pastel's coveted care.
Dr. Pastel's business statement was released shortly after news was leaked that he was providing embalming services to the late Arsenio Hall. When revealed that Hall, a personal friend of Ashley-Ogun was directed towards GSL Funeral Services with insistence, criticism arose from Hall's family and friends directed at Ashley-Ogun, Pastel and GSL Enterprises, ranging from extortion, to nepotism, to despotism. Financial statements dating back to 2003 have shown Ashley-Ogun to be financially dependent on GSL revenue, as GSL is a significant portion of his client and business base.
Controversy has swirled over whether Hall's last wishes were indeed to have his service in Akron, Ohio at the former Scalzo's Home, instead of under a soggy log where he has resided for the past several years. Ashley-Ogun released a statement through a spokeswoman, "Arsenio was a dear, dear friend of mine. From teaching me how to effectively swear as a young lad in the wee hours of the night, to showing me how to dance: he was always there, as a best friend. Likewise, I just want the best for him, and the best is, without a doubt, Dr. Amar Pastel."
It is anticipated that Dr. Pastel will attempt to recreate one or two of the personalities that Hall portrayed in the hit film "Coming to America", possibly the elderly evangalistic preacher or the drag queen in a seedy bar.
Hall's funeral will be held this Saturday at the former Scalzo's Funeral Home in Akron, Ohio. Family has requested, in lieu of flowers, donations be made in the form of cash donations to the GSL Philanthropic Fund or bottles of HPNOTIQ to Ashley-Ogun's Urban Culture Awareness Society.
posted by GSL Enterprises at
7:51 AM
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