GSL Urban Culture Consultant to buy Chicago Bulls

Chicago, IL (GSP). In an effort to increase visibility of GSL Enterprises and to satisfy his own personal attraction to Michael Jordan, Dimejios Ashley, chief urban culture consultant for GSL Enterprises has offered $1 Million to buy the Chicago Bulls. He has borrowed $300 Million from GSL Enterprises' investors, with a legally-binding IOU stating "I'll get back at u dawg, one." The new owner of the Chicago Bulls, Dimejios, will require all players to shave their heads, wear #23, and be like Mike. He is currently meeting with National Basketball League lawyers to make this possible.