Stock Rises, Curtis Ng mentioned in Forbes, Insiders take a look at new "Calm Down" campaign

(New York, NY) Investment Bank JP Morgan has successfully introduced shares of GSL Enterprises, LLC, to the NYSE. GSL Enterprises will sell 10% of its shares to investors in order to generate equity for structural expansion and developments in emerging markets. Stocks rise $.02 in the first 5 minutes despite CNBC investment analysts losing predictions.

Head Funeral Director for GSL Funeral Services Curtis Ng, MPH has been listed in Forbes July Issue as the funeral services seventh-leading entrepeneur of the year. His response to the Akron Advocate, "I am deeply honored to receive this nomination. I can only thank the tremendous hard work that my colleagues have done in helping me calm down."

Senior Strategy Consultant, Elmo MBA, has concluded against entering the white-cloth industry. A memo sent out on Thursday says "The consumers of white-cloth are very cost-sensitive, making differentiation of our product difficult to a very poor, stupid, and racist market segment. The product durability of existing costumes make our market dependent on growing membership and not existing consumers. Although a large network effect could be generated by increased propaganda, the low-growth potential despite a large market share developed from aggressive marketing makes our investments moot and zilch."

Insiders at Fox News substantiates claims of a new marketing campaign by GSL Enterprises, called simply "Calm Down." News of this will air on Friday at 11am/10 Central on Financial Today with Murphy Brown.