GSL Enterprises, Inc.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Corporate Offices Established, Dr. Pastel relocates

Corporate offices for GSL Enterprises, LLC, have been declared to be located in Akron, Ohio. This location will contain all financial operations for the company. Dr. Rama Pastel, CPA will be declared Junior Chief Financial Officer next Tuesday, and he will relocate to claim his position by Fall. Forcasting this announcement by Bloomberg investment analysts, GSL Enterprise's stock should rise due to Dr. Pastel's demonstrated postive leadership in the garben herb and funeral services industries.

Due to the low tariffs on products between the USA and Canada, Senior Strategic Consultant Elmo, MBA, concluded that manufacturing of GSL Chamomile, a daughter company of GSL Enterprises, should be located in Avril Lavigne's hometown. The competitive advantage of unskilled labor and corollarly low human capital bargaining power made this choice a no brainer. In addition, supply of Chinese-grown Chamomile distributed through Toronto's large Chinese suppliers will provide stable supply costs for the next year. GSL Enterprises is currently selling larger stock shares in order to finance new strategies in cutting supply costs further by researching Canadian-grown Chamomile. Within one year, GSL Chamomile should undercut competitors by offering low-price, high-quality Chamomile products. Aggressive marketing strategies have also been announced, but are still under development.

GSL Funeral Services, another daughter company of GSL Enterprises, has recently acquired Scalzo's Funeral Home in Akron, Ohio. Market analysis looking at the target's market position, the Net Present Value of the acquisition, and rising death rate in the USA, forcasts a favorable outcome for this move. Curtis Ng, MPH, was appointed Head Funeral Director due to his innate knowledge of the industry and demonstrated talent in offering soothing relief to loved ones. GSL Enterprises will finance an aggressive restructuring of Scalzo's Funeral Home, laying off all present employees just to be mean. Because of its mature product life, funeral services at the new GSL Funeral Home will offer be the lowest priced funeral services in Ohio but still provide effective differentiation through thoughtful and innovative embalming, superior drafting of Wills by The Law Offices of Dimejios, JD, and a 24 hour customer service phoneline. This is thought to attract new market segments and undercut any potential entrants into the Ohio funeral services industry.

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