Apprentice-Style Reality Television Show Announced; Lost Dog

Hollywood, CA (GSP). Capitalizing on the rapid growth of GSL Enterprises, an Apprentice-stye reality television show focusing on GSL business strategy is announced by Nickelodeon to air in 2007 on Nick-At-Night, with host Dr. Pastel, CPA, the charistmatic Junior CFO of GSL. This program will combine the business-elements-success of the Apprentice with around-the-world frantic screaming of The Great Race. Celebrity Co-hosts will also frequent the show. Bill Cosby, Will Smith, & Ray Romano have been announced for the first season.

Birmingham, AL (GSP). Dimejios Ashley, JD, chief paralegal for GSL Enterprises has lost his female chihuahua named Tinkerbell. He is offering a $500 reward and a hug to the finder.

Akron, OH (GSP). Legal proceedings have been taken against Us Weekly for publishing photos of Curtis Nyugen, Mph, Head Funeral Director for GSL Enterprises, dumping motor oil in a storm drain. Environmental activists are outraged and have been picketing outside his Akron, Ohio mansion. His lawyer, Mrs. Butterfly JD, has responded to the Mexican Associated Press, that he was merely pouring coffee out.

The legal team at GSL Enterprises says they will prevent defamation from ratty tabloids at all costs, after a previous scandal resulting from photos of Elmo Buchanan, Director of GSL Investment Banking in Africa, and Nicole Richie together peeking out of a slit curtain were published in Home & Garden as "The Curtain Stylings of Wall Street Giants."