Fried Cheese a Hard Line for Pastel to Swallow, Stomach

Flemington, NE (GSP). This may be a hard line to swallow, but Pastel can't even stomach his own merchandise. In a photo shoot today, new McDonald's spokesman, enraged embalmer Dr. Amar Pastel, was seen vomiting up the very same fried cheese he peddles for fast food behemoth McDonald's.

Located at the Palisades Mall food court, Ronald McDonald was on hand to laugh and point at the cheese eater, taunting him by saying, "What's the matter Habibi, too much fried cheese today?" "Habibi" means sweetheart in Arabic.

Pastel claims that a fried hunk of cheese curds somehow got stuck in his throat, although on-site nutritionist Claire Jonjak claimed it wouldn't have been possible given how greasy the cheese is. "It should just slide down his throat. It is hot and wet with oil. In my professional opinion, this man has just eaten too much fried cheese over his lifetime. No question, a boiled potato and a multivitamin would do that body good."

Snapshots of the incident have now found their way to the internet and police are worried there may be copycat behaviors in school. Pastel is reportedly fine and is washing down the rest of the fried cheese with ice cold Diet Pepsi. The photo shoot continues tomorrow.