Move over Ronald McDonald, Pastel the new face of McDonald's

Dr. Amar Pastel, enflamed embalmer for GSL Enterprises, has found a new part-time job moonlighting as a model for fast food chains. Utterly dejected after being thrown to the streets by his long-time girlfriend J. Krackow, when found canoodling with avant-garde artist Bjork, Pastel has found ways to waste his time as he promotes fast food products. Pastel was first found rummaging in the dumpster of a McDonald’s off exit 45 on the NJ Turnpike, allegedly looking for “dipping sauce” (which he yelled repeatedly) and with a strong odor of fried cheese on his breath. McDonald’s employees in the area took him under their wing and found his passion for fast food and fried products to be unsurpassed, and immediately called McDonald’s head office to set up a time for him to become the new model and face for McDonald’s.

Pastel has apparently been trying to change the current McDonald’s from “I’m Lovin’ It” to “Try some extra dipping sauce” or “Fried Cheese!” without any success. Pastel has replaced Ronald McDonald as the company seeks to attract a more adult and intelligent demographic. Whether this will be a short-lived experiment or a long-term commitment remains to be seen. What is sure though, is that Dr. Amar Pastel’s face will be on several McDonald’s commercials across the nation and around the world. GSL Enterprises declined to comment on the employment status of Pastel as he is garnering immense national media attention since the very public adulterous affair and living several days homeless. The commercials are set to air next week.