Subpoena for Dr. Pastel: Scandal Balloons as GSL Implicated in Baseball Steroids Probe

Lexington KY (GSP). GSL Enterprises main science division leader, Dr. Amar Pastel, is to appear in court this Thursday to testify in a AA-minor league baseball steroids probe headed by local ethics comptroller and prominent community evangelist/virgin Christoph Ashlee. As an expert in the field of anabolic steroids and blood doping for low-level professional and amateur athletes, Dr. Pastel has received a subpoena to testify as dozens of AA baseball athletes have tested positive for chamomile and herbal-based performance-enhancing drugs.

Dr. Pastel is the head botanist, medical advisor and chief embalmer for GSL Enterprises, purveyors of quality chamomile products and funeral services, according to the company website. A biography of Pastel detailing his life, company duties and private habits was removed from the website late yesterday. Several Chamomile product descriptions include portions extolling the benefits of creams and lozenges in athletic performance, while none of the active ingredients are listed as banned substances. Pastel has been sighted frequenting several baseball games and is reported to have a penchant for fantasy baseball leagues. According to public documents, Pastel is confirmed to be a member of at least one.

GSL, their attorneys and Dr. Pastel have refused comment at this time. Details will be reported as they are released.