GSL Environment friendly; Impact of Pennsylvania floods; Dr. Patel lauded for philanthropic gestures
Alton, IL (GSP). GSL Chamomile announced today to BBC news that they will embrace ethanol fueled transportation vehicles, utilizing the surge of ethanol pumps throughout the midwest. Following a move to transport all chamomile in Toyota Hybrid Yaris coupes, GSL further follows through with its committment to alternative fuel. Environmental lobbyists on capitol hill have used the GSL example to support their cause of a less-petroleum dependent USA.
New York, NY (GSP). Senior risk managment consultant, Elmo Buchanan was consulted today on the impact of Pennsylvania floods on GSL Enterprises livelihood. He was quoted as saying, "The deaths in Pennsylvania are unfortunate. But it is unlikely that the 12 people dead would want celebrity post-death makeovers at this point." He also concluded that GSL Enterprises will not beef up its natural disaster insurance policies. This is based on the simple strategy philosophy that GSL Enterprises does not learn from others' mistakes, GSL doesn't make mistakes. After number crunching, Buchanan concluded that there will be no impact of the floods on the GSL Chamomile's livelihood, as most of GSL production is in rural Canada and most sales are to desperate "lotioned-up" housewives in Orange County, California.
Akron, OH (GSP). In a bold philanthropic move, Dr. Pastel has offered $1000 of his own money to the Gates Foundation to match Warren Buffet's $40 Billion. Dr. Pastel has stated that he would offer $1 for every $40,000 Buffet donates to charitable organizations. An exit poll at the Akron Piggly Wiggly concludes that 53% of Akron locals think Dr. Pastel should be awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor, or at least a Purple Heart.
New York, NY (GSP). Senior risk managment consultant, Elmo Buchanan was consulted today on the impact of Pennsylvania floods on GSL Enterprises livelihood. He was quoted as saying, "The deaths in Pennsylvania are unfortunate. But it is unlikely that the 12 people dead would want celebrity post-death makeovers at this point." He also concluded that GSL Enterprises will not beef up its natural disaster insurance policies. This is based on the simple strategy philosophy that GSL Enterprises does not learn from others' mistakes, GSL doesn't make mistakes. After number crunching, Buchanan concluded that there will be no impact of the floods on the GSL Chamomile's livelihood, as most of GSL production is in rural Canada and most sales are to desperate "lotioned-up" housewives in Orange County, California.
Akron, OH (GSP). In a bold philanthropic move, Dr. Pastel has offered $1000 of his own money to the Gates Foundation to match Warren Buffet's $40 Billion. Dr. Pastel has stated that he would offer $1 for every $40,000 Buffet donates to charitable organizations. An exit poll at the Akron Piggly Wiggly concludes that 53% of Akron locals think Dr. Pastel should be awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor, or at least a Purple Heart.
posted by GSL Enterprises at
1:51 PM
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