Dr. Pastel, GSL Launches Post-Life Makeover Service; Criticism Swirls
Los Angeles CA (GSP). Renowned controversial embalmer and pseudo-doctor Amar Pastel has issued a statement late last night describing a unique technique of post-mortem plastic surgery, he has been experimenting with the past several weeks and has now claimed to have perfect.
The procedure has been dubbed a post-life makeover. In other words, plastic surgery on corpses, primarily to make the deceased resemble their favorite movie star.
In Pastel's statement, released through GSL Enterprises' PR division, he says that the several late individuals he has done have been to the delight of the family, especially offering the low cost for the then-experimental procedure. Pastel hopes to implement this technique on a large scale in all GSL Funeral Services outlets with the use of low-paid apprentices, medical students and robots. Pastel has claimed to have done several Donald Trumps, Glenn Closes and even a John Voight. Although not formally disclosed, the statement hinted that males of Asian origin are generally not considered eligible for such a procedure, simply because they are inherently too disfigured.
CNN medical analysts have denounced the statement as a hoax, stating that is not physiologically possible to perform successful facial plastic surgery on a corpse since a dead body cannot repair or regenerate itself. GSL representatives have pointed out that this is part of the business appeal of offering a service to the consumers. Citing low overhead attributed to not needing anesthetics, anesthesiologists, sterilization and costly medication in addition to a balanced risk management plan: there is no harm, or pain, to the deceased and low-to-no risk for any long-lasting problems. Criticism has been launched against Pastel and GSL, claiming that this is another scheme by the company to take advantage of a low-income population who are obsessed with celebrities and makeovers.
Elmo Buchanan, LCSW, President of Business Operations for GSL is quoted, "We feel we are offering a great service at a great value for the consumer. For any of you who have always wanted to get the plastic surgery, or look like a movie star, and you couldn't afford it, now you can finally have it: pain-free, no hassles and no worries about bills or insurance. Especially with funerals today, you end up being the center of attention, so you might as well look great. I have seen several final products personally and I am confident that we are providing a service that will be of great appeal. In fact, I was a little envious seeing Pastel's final Bob Sagat on an elderly gentleman." Asked whether he would do it himself, Buchanan replied that he would really like to look like Hong Kong action star Jackie Chan, but that Pastel has still refused to perform a post-mortem makeover on Asian males.
Financial analysts at FOX are uncertain what impact such a business move would have on GSL stock. Initially thought to be a very poor decision that would negatively impact quarterly reports, doubt in this prediction was cast as the pattern of GSL's smashing success in all "questionable" business ventures was reviewed. As one analyst was quoted, "GSL can do no wrong right now."
According to the company website, GSL Enterprises, LLC has brought the consumer quality funeral services and chamomile products since 2003. GSL is based out of Akron, Ohio and has a daughter company location in Napanee, Ontario.
The procedure has been dubbed a post-life makeover. In other words, plastic surgery on corpses, primarily to make the deceased resemble their favorite movie star.
In Pastel's statement, released through GSL Enterprises' PR division, he says that the several late individuals he has done have been to the delight of the family, especially offering the low cost for the then-experimental procedure. Pastel hopes to implement this technique on a large scale in all GSL Funeral Services outlets with the use of low-paid apprentices, medical students and robots. Pastel has claimed to have done several Donald Trumps, Glenn Closes and even a John Voight. Although not formally disclosed, the statement hinted that males of Asian origin are generally not considered eligible for such a procedure, simply because they are inherently too disfigured.
CNN medical analysts have denounced the statement as a hoax, stating that is not physiologically possible to perform successful facial plastic surgery on a corpse since a dead body cannot repair or regenerate itself. GSL representatives have pointed out that this is part of the business appeal of offering a service to the consumers. Citing low overhead attributed to not needing anesthetics, anesthesiologists, sterilization and costly medication in addition to a balanced risk management plan: there is no harm, or pain, to the deceased and low-to-no risk for any long-lasting problems. Criticism has been launched against Pastel and GSL, claiming that this is another scheme by the company to take advantage of a low-income population who are obsessed with celebrities and makeovers.
Elmo Buchanan, LCSW, President of Business Operations for GSL is quoted, "We feel we are offering a great service at a great value for the consumer. For any of you who have always wanted to get the plastic surgery, or look like a movie star, and you couldn't afford it, now you can finally have it: pain-free, no hassles and no worries about bills or insurance. Especially with funerals today, you end up being the center of attention, so you might as well look great. I have seen several final products personally and I am confident that we are providing a service that will be of great appeal. In fact, I was a little envious seeing Pastel's final Bob Sagat on an elderly gentleman." Asked whether he would do it himself, Buchanan replied that he would really like to look like Hong Kong action star Jackie Chan, but that Pastel has still refused to perform a post-mortem makeover on Asian males.
Financial analysts at FOX are uncertain what impact such a business move would have on GSL stock. Initially thought to be a very poor decision that would negatively impact quarterly reports, doubt in this prediction was cast as the pattern of GSL's smashing success in all "questionable" business ventures was reviewed. As one analyst was quoted, "GSL can do no wrong right now."
According to the company website, GSL Enterprises, LLC has brought the consumer quality funeral services and chamomile products since 2003. GSL is based out of Akron, Ohio and has a daughter company location in Napanee, Ontario.
posted by GSL Enterprises at
5:23 AM
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