Sodom, Galilee (GSP). GSL Enterprises has announced an exciting new business venture of naming pharmaceutical and consumer healthcare products. Revealing that new and revised names of existing products are the brainchild of GSL, CEO Elmo Buchanan also said that they will be selling names to pharmaceutical companies for new products. The twist? They bank on the name recognition of famed GSL Custodial Expert, Dr. Amar Pastel.
Recently, Proctor and Gamble’s popular Metamucil, fiber substitute/laxative will now be named Metamarcil, which the company believes will reach a new market segment and improve sales given the obvious tribute to Dr. Pastel. Pastel, a strong proponent of regularity, has endorsed Metamarcil, saying that this is a product he is proud to offer his name to.
Other names slated for unveiling are: Amarpolectic-C, a new brand of emetic used to induce vomiting; Amaralax, an extremely potent and violent laxative suitable for pranks and enemies; Amarpacet, an MAO-inhibitor antidepressant; Amarlegra, a sleeping aid; Patellorex, a genital wart removal cream; Amariltal, an anal wart removal ointment; Amarfrin, an agent to reduce the likelihood of organ rejection; and Amaricillin, the latest in a brand of new antibiotics, specifically to treat bacterial STDs.
GSL presented the new names as symbolic of “ushering in a new age of drug nomenclature and names, the Age of Pastel.” GSL spokesman Tyler Przybolezck said, “To tie Amar Patel’s name to new and effective drugs will not only revolutionize healthcare and marketing, but will revolutionize life as we know it. Everyone has got a little Pastel in them. If that makes them poo and be healthier, then all the more glory to Pastel!”
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