Dr. Pastel Recommends Exercise, Invents Cardio Strip-Tease

Las Vegas NV (GSP). Dr. Amar Pastel, a registered medical dietician practitioner, has endorsed exercise as a viable and recommended way to lose weight and get healthier in the fight against obesity. In a press conference, Pastel described how Americans are overweight and need new methods to trim down, otherwise complications associated with obesity, such as diabetes and hypertension, will inhibit their quality of life later on. While nothing about Pastel’s conference was newsworthy or compelling, he did say that he will stop his usual diet of daiquiris and mayonnaise starting Monday, and start a new exercise method he calls “Cardio Strip-Tease”.

Pastel invented cardio strip-tease through his frequenting of the seediest New York all-male burlesque revues, he said. Commenting on the need for fun new ways to exercise, he said the idea came to him in a spurt of inspiration. With inspiration all over his face, he realized that he had a product second only to Richard Simmons’ “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” empire and a “whole lot better and more fun than Billy Blank’s Tae Bo videos.” Pastel hopes he can parlay the idea into a home DVD exercise program and expects to star in it, demonstrating the proper technique of cardio strip tease in a way that “will not injure your funky bone.” Pastel indicated longtime friends Boy George and George Michael will be featured as special guest stars.

GSL Enterprises has vehemently denied, and squashed, any claims made about offering Pastel financial or moral support for this endeavor.